Close My Eyes Forever

July 2012

And when we sleep will you shelter me in your warm and darkened grave-

”Close My Eyes Forever”… Lita Ford/Ozzy Osbourne

 

Have you ever been in a room filled with people yet you feel completely alone? Often loneliness captures me. He shows me illusions of warmth and safety. He becomes my friend, confidant and lover. He wraps his arms around me as I rest my head on his chest. I feel safe and content for a time.

 

It isn’t always what it seems When you’re face to face with me

”Close My Eyes Forever”… Lita Ford/Ozzy Osbourne

 

 

Suddenly his arms become more like straight jacket, preventing me from reaching out to others. His kiss which I used to crave becomes a gag, not allowing me to scream for help. He completely cuts me off from the world around me. Everyone else continues on with their lives, oblivious to my plight. They fail to notice my smile never reaches my eyes.

 

You’re like a dagger And stick me in the heart And taste the blood from my blade

”Close My Eyes Forever”… Lita Ford/Ozzy Osbourne

 

 

He builds a wall around me. He encases my heart and soul in a box of stone. I am only able to watch those around me joke with friends, fall in love and LIVE their lives. I am trapped in a void of nothingness. My soul begs for freedom yet my mind cannot break the hold loneliness has on me.

 

If I close my eyes forever, will it all remain unchanged. If I close my eyes will it all remain the same.

”Close My Eyes Forever”… Lita Ford/Ozzy Osbourne

 

 

My mind shuts down my emotions. I cease to feel and only exist. I’ve fought him before and nothing ever changes. He finds his way back into my life. He continually thwarts my attempts at connecting with those around me. The walls he builds are impenetrable. I pray every for someone to come save me from this evil. Yet every night when I close my eyes, my soul is still alone. It remains in the cold darkness, untouched. Only in my dreams do things change. Only in that peaceful slumber do I experience closeness, friendship and love. Only in the darkness of night am I free of the darkness that owns my soul.


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